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Chocolate-flavour toothpaste sounds disgusting. I like chocolate but it’s the sort of thing I need to believe I’m removing from my teeth when I’m brushing them. It’s also, of all foods, the most visually reminiscent of shit. And, if there’s one substance that I like to contemplate being in contact with my teeth while I brush them even less than chocolate, it’s that wasp to chocolate’s hoverfly, excrement. Associating any brown goo with tooth-brushing is perverse – it’s like launching a washing powder that makes clothes smell of gravy or an air freshener that disseminates the odour of a damp dog.
— David
Mitchell, Thinking About it Only Makes it Worse and Other Lessons from Modern

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